Self-care is a term that gets used a lot in the wellness world and I have found the repetition to be helpful for me on my wellness/life/adulting journey; I welcome the reminder that we all need to take care of our selves more.
To me, self-care is allowing mySELF to be accepted by myself, to be fully and authentically who I am.
..Not for most of us.
(Did I mention this is a journey? Maybe you can relate).
Self acceptance in that way is my end goal, my end game (Taylor Swift plug).
Why does that goal feel lofty? Why do I know this is my goal but I still truly struggle to get there. I often second-guess myself, try to change for others, fall into my people-pleasing ways, etc.
For what seems like forever, I’ve looked to others for my sense of self worth. I’ve dated a lot, made and lost friends a lot, moved around a lot, been indecisive a lot, and looked up to my peers for advice, approval, and acceptance.
The pursuit of being “well-liked” and “accepted by society” is like running on a hamster wheel, 24/7.
In time, you eventually get too tired and you fall off.
You start to realize that defining your self-worth based on other’s opinions is impossible and leaves you feeling empty and confused.
These socialized habits are hard to break but the beauty is, we are never stuck with them.
We grow, we change, we adapt because we are survivors.
We are self-aware enough to realize when we aren’t being kind to ourselves. I would argue we all get to that realization eventually.
What happens when we over focus on being well liked, is we lose sight of our individuality, what makes us light up in this world, our own needs, goals, and desires that are only ours to define.
My self-care practice right now includes taking time to tune in, acknowledge how I am feeling and be trust myself to making decisions and stand by them.
It challenges me when I am sitting in a group of people to not focus on whether or not I am “liked” but to focus more on genuinely contributing and connecting.
It challenges me to listen to my one and only truth.
Some of my go-to self-care habits include taking bubble baths, laying on the floor and listening to Novo Amor, lighting candles or incense, meditation, yoga, etc.
Let’s self-care the sh*t out of ourselves. I think the grass might actually be greener when we get to the other side.